Hi, everybody.
This is your cousin Brucie. Whoa!
Our summer romances are in full bloom,
and everybody's in love!
So cousins, here's a great song
from the Four Seasons.
That was the summer of 1963...
when everybody called me ""Baby""
and it didn't occur to me to mind.
That was before
President Kennedy was shot...
before the Beatles came...
when I couldn't wait
to join the Peace Corps...
and I thought I'd never
find a guy as great as my dad.
That was the summer
we went to Kellerman's.
Ping-Pong in the west arcade,
softball in the east diamond.
All you Sandy Koufaxes,
get out there!
Complimentary dance lessons
in the gazebo.
Oh, my God.
Look at that!
Mom, I should've brought the coral
shoes. You said I was taking too much.
Well, sweetheart,
you brought ten pairs.
But the coral shoes
matched that dress.
This is not a tragedy.
A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine
or police dogs used in Birmingham.
Monks burning themselves
in protest.
Butt out, Baby.
Okay, we got horseshoes
on the south lawn in 15 minutes!
We've got splish-splash
the water class down by the lake.
We have the still life art class.
We got volleyball and croquet.
And for you older folks,
we got sacks!
Doc!
Doc!
Max!
I finally got you up on my mountain.
How's the blood pressure?
I want you girls to know...
if it were not for this man,
I'd be standing here dead.
- Billy, get the bags.
- Right away, Doc.
I kept the best cabin
for you and your beautiful girls.
Hey, thanks a lot.
You want a job here?
the gazebo in the next few minutes.
The greatest teacher.
Used to be a Rockette.
It's his first real vacation
in six years, Max. Take it easy.
Three weeks here,
it'll feel like a year.
One, two, three, four! Stomp
those grapes and stomp some more!
One, two, three, four!
Listen to the music!
Sorry.
Move your caboose
and shake it loose!
One, two, three, four!
Start the train!
Come on, men!
Follow me into a round robin!
Ladies, the inner circle!
Come on, ladies!
God wouldn't have given you maracas
if he didn't want you to shake them!
Okay now, ladies,
when I say ""stop""...
you're gonna find
the man of your dreams.
Stop!
Remember, he's the boss on
the dance floor, if nowhere else.
Mom, Dad, I'm going up
to the main house to look around.
There are two kinds of help here.
You waiters are
all college guys...
and I went to Harvard
and Yale to hire you.
And why did I do that? Why?
I shouldn't have to remind you.
This is a family place.
That means you keep your fingers out
of the water, hair out of the soup...
and show the goddamn
daughters a good time.
All the daughters.
Even the dogs.
Schlepp 'em out to the terrace,
show 'em the stars.
- Romance 'em any way you want.
- Got that, guys?
Hey, hold it!
Hold it.
Well, if it isn't
the entertainment staff.
Listen, wise ass,
you got your own rules.
Dance with the daughters.
Teach 'em the mambo...
the cha-cha,
anything they pay for.
That's it.
That's where it ends.
No funny business, no conversations,
and keep you hands off!
It's the same at all these places. Some
ass in the woods, but no conversation.
Watch it, Rodriguez.
Can you keep that straight, Johnny?
What you can't lay your hands on?
Just put your pickle on everybody's
plate, and leave the hard stuff to me.
Sit down and I'll
get you some wine.
Thank you, Max.
This is Dr. and Mrs. Houseman.
Baby, Lisa, this is your waiter,
Robbie Gould.
Yale medical school.
These people are my special guests.
Give them anything they want.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks, Max.
Look at all this leftover food. Are
there still starving children in Europe?
- Try Southeast Asia, Ma.
- Right.
Robbie, Baby wants to send
her leftover pot roast...
to Southeast Asia,
so anything you don't finish, wrap up.
Max, our Baby's gonna
change the world.
- And what are you gonna do, Missy?
She already does.
Doc, I want you to meet someone.
My grandson Neil.
Goes to the Cornell School
of Hotel Management.
Baby's starting
Mount Holyoke in the fall.
Oh, great.
Are you going to major in English?
No. Economics of
underdeveloped countries.
- I'm going into the Peace Corps.
I'm going to Mississippi with
a couple of busboys, freedom ride.
This is our own Tito Suarez.
Mambo!
Yeah! Come on!
Who's that?
Oh, them.
They're the dance people.
They're here to keep
the guests happy.
They shouldn't show off with each other.
That's not gonna sell lessons.
- Hi, kids. Having fun?
- Yeah.
Actually, I've gotta excuse myself.
I'm in charge of the games tonight.
Would you like to help me
get things started?
Sure she would.
This'll only hurt for a minute.
You've got Blue Cross, right?
Was that good for you?
And for being such a good sport,
here you go!
I finally met a girl
exactly like my mother.
Dresses like her, acts like her.
So I brought her home.
My father doesn't like her!
Go figure.
- Hi.
- How'd you get here?
- I was taking a walk.
- Go back.
Let me help you.
What's up there?
No guests allowed.
House rules.
Why don't you go back to the playhouse?
I saw you dancing with little boss man.
Can you keep a secret?
Max would kill me.
Where'd they learn to do that?
Where?
I don't know. Kids are doing it
Wanna try it?
Come on, Baby.
Can you imagine dancing like this
on the main floor...
home of the family fox-trot?
Max would close
the place down first.
That's my cousin, Johnny Castle.
He got me the job here.
- They look great together.
- Yeah.
You'd think they were
a couple, wouldn't you?
- Aren't they?
- No, not since we were kids.
Do you love me?
Do you love me?
Yo, cousin, what's she doing here?
She came with me.
She's with me.
I carried a watermelon.
I carried a watermelon?
Bend your knees. Down.
Watch. Watch my eyes.
Good.
That's better.
Good. Now roll this way.
Now watch.
Look.
Love man!
Ladies, join our hair-raising
wig show.
Try your Sandra Dee,
Jackie Kennedy...
or Elizabeth Taylor-Cleopatra wig.
- I'll knock with three.
- Look at that cute fella.
Look at these hands.
They're golden hands.
My God, it's Cleopatra!
I feel like such an ""asp"".
You look ten years younger.
At 10:
.15, by the pool,
we have calisthenics.
Then on the west porch, we have
a symposium by Rabbi Maurice Sherman...
on the psychology
of insult comedians.
So I say, ""Ask not what your waiter
can do for you...
but what you can do
for your waiter.""
If tips keep up, I'll have enough
for my Alfa Romeo.
That's my favorite car.
Ladies, you look very lovely.
Baby, would you cover for me tonight?
Tell Mom and Dad I went to lie down.
Where are you going?
To the golf course. There's
a pretty view from the first tee.
Good. Thanks.
So you were really a Rockette?